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Saturday, September 16, 2017

Still no word.

I have tried repeatedly, every couple of weeks, and there is no reply to either of her email addresses. I don't know what is going on. I tried doing a lookup for her to see if she passed away, my concern is that great, but found nothing.

Meanwhile, my fiancé died on the 29th of last month. He didn't have just prostate cancer, turns out he had bladder cancer as well. There wasn't even a moment to register the shock. He went into the hospital suddenly unable to stand or walk at all and they observed him for almost 5 days. I watched him go through several episodes of delirium which made me wonder if he had had a stroke. A CT scan said no. I asked for a CT scan of his pelvis and abdomen as he was about to go through his 4th chemo infusion and the oncologist needed to know if it was effective (it was, on the prostate side) and that's when the very VERY advanced bladder cancer was discovered.

His kidneys were swollen and filled with toxin, unable to drain through the compromised duct work running into the area of the tumor and that is what was causing the delirium. With no hope in sight, he was transferred to a hospice and died 4 days later. How his urologist AND oncologist missed this massive cancerous tumor is beyond me. I hope to have a lawyer weigh in although I don't have a legal leg to stand on as we were not married.

I am alternately numb and weepy and angry and despairing. Trying to push past the tremendous loss of him and regain a footing in simple day-to-day things. Complicating matters, our medical expenses have run through my savings and I can't move back home because I don't have the funds for it. So I remain in the Midwest for the foreseeable future. I have been adopted by his family who love me and maybe these friendships are what come out of my relationship with him. Trying to play the Pollyanna glad game here.

I will continue writing TL and hoping for a response. If I hear anything, I will post at once. The situation does not look good. It has been too long without a word.

~ nycsnowbird

Friday, June 23, 2017

Update June 2017

I am asked repeatedly what's going on, why hasn't there been an update. The only answer I can give is: "I don't know." I have written TexanLady more times than I can count, several times a month, inquiring about her health, to fill me in so I can relay information to all of you. I only get silence. I've two email addresses for her, I write to both. I do not have a phone number for her and I don't even know the town she's living in. She has always been very private a person and getting details from her has always been difficult.

I have been hoping her mom would respond or even her daughter but so far there has been no response to any of my frequent emails. I will, of course, keep trying.

That's all I can say. I have not heard from TL since before Christmas. Her mom wrote me twice just to say she had updates TL wanted me to have but didn't know how to attach them to email. I tried to explain drag-and-drop but I think it went over her head. If/when I hear something, I will post. I feel terrible about all our readers who have patiently (and impatiently) waited for updates and news. Yes, I know how The Arrangement is supposed to end but I couldn't write it if I tried because there's a war about to start, there's Jason in vampiric form, Eric has really botched things up between he and Sookie, Tara is back but problematic, we have traitors in Sookie's camp ... I have been waiting for an outline so I know how this all goes down but I have none.

I promise to post as soon as I know more. I don't know if the silence is based on her health at this juncture. It's maddening.

~ nycsnowbird